User Profile

This is my anonyjournal, to be used when I'd really rather not clutter up my other journals with comments from people who don't like what I post elsewhere. Being anonymous isn't cowardice when dealing when batshit insane people, it's just using a little common sense.

Obvious Facts
Figured I'd cover these before anyone else does.

* I'm so fat, I sweat marshmallows.

* I have no life, and use the internet to fill my sad, fat soul with ham butter twinkies some fleeting whisp of happiness.

* In addition to being a fatty, I'm hideously ugly- to the point that small children flee in terror when gazing upon my horribly disfigured face. Any snide comment I make involving someone's appearance is due to my overwhelming jealousy.

* Although I did spend a few years in the military, I got kicked out for being the faggiest fag who ever faggily fagged in Fag Town. (Actually, I left a little early due to injury, but this reason sounds so much more interesting.) I've been informed that my general faginess negates any e-cred my military service would earn me. However, I do get to keep the few extra inches it gave my e-penis, so it's all good.

* Despite my military service, I've never held a job, and live in my parent's basement.

* I'm a furry. My fursona is a slug/hyena/sloth/lard hybrid.

* I'm an anime fan, and would cosplay if only they made tents/bed sheets large enough.

* I refuse to give out identifying offline information, so my opinions have been judged to be completely without meaning or merit by the International Internet Court.

* In addition to being terminally gay, I'm also mentally incompetent. And stupid. Hurr.

* I don't have dyslexia, I just have shitty spelling and grammar skills. See the previous point for 'why'.

* I don't have Asperger's Syndrome, I'm just an asshole. (This one's the most truthful statement on the list.)